Sunday, February 05, 2006

Super Bowl musings

It's Super Bowl Sunday. Time for people who aren't Steelers or Seahawks fans to consume beer, feast on cocktail shrimp and pizza, and lose $10 because they drew the 5-by-5 square in their office's Super Bowl score picks.
The guys watch the game. The girls watch the commercials for Matthew McCougnahey sightings. And Cleveland fans like myself prepare to lob things at the TV set when Ben Roethlisberger hooks up with Hines Ward for a Steeler touchdown.
It's like Christmas, except there's no presents and the alcohol is a lot cheaper (Out: Bailey's. In: PBR) In that spirit, here are some random Super Bowl thoughts as the hours wind down to kickoff:

It's good to be No. 12
The first thing you should notice when sizing up the Super Bowl matchup is the absence of a starting quarterback with jersey No. 12.
It's too bad for Messers Roethlisberger (No. 7) and Hasselbeck (No. 8). No. 12 is a cherished number in the annals of Super Bowl history. No other number has been on the jersey of the winning QB as often:

Bob Griese (twice)
Terry Bradshaw (four times)
Roger Staubach (twice)
Tom Brady (three times)
Ken Stabler
Joe Namath
Doug Williams

Every champion quarterback from Super Bowl VI through Super Bowl XIV wore No. 12. If you were wondering the track record of today's QB numbers, they've been on top, too. But the ledger favors Hasselbeck's No. 8 slightly.

No. 7:
John Elway (twice)
Joe Theismann

No. 8:
Troy Aikman (three times)
Steve Young
Trent Dilfer

Stay away from the Ohio Turnpike this evening. It's not so much the lake effect snow we've been getting as the hordes of drunk Steeler fans who will be making a mass-exodus out of Detroit after the game. If you live in Toledo, I suggest staying as far away from I-75 as possible.

And for the six Seahawk fans who will be at the game tonight, yes there are places to get sushi and a cappuccino east of the Mississippi. Just not the same place.

Sorry, that was a cheap shot at Seattle. I don't doubt you are devoted to your team, and I know all of you aren't millionaire dot-com executives who wear Dockers 365 days a year. But if you take a tour of downtown Detroit, that thing that looks like a burned-out building isn't modern art. Don't tell that slovenly-looking guy in a trench coat that you love his work.

Actor Haley Joel Osment hasn't been wrong in six years of Super Bowl predictions. He predicts a 31-21 win for Pittsburgh.

If the prognostication of a teen actor isn't enough, Jamie Foxx, Jack Nicklaus, John Kerry, Condoleezza Rice, LeBron James, Placido Domingo, Shaquille O'Neal and Bill O'Reilly also pick the Steelers.

Seattle-area resident Bill Gates understandably picks the Seahawks. And he's rich enough to own everybody listed above. Checkmate.

As for my own prediction, I'm taking Sultan's Harlot in the fifth at Pimlico.

Finally, I have to hand it to fellow BGSU blogmeister Matt Sussman, who predicted a Seattle win today based on the the Scrabble word value of Hasselbeck's name against that of Roethlisberger. His unique take on Super Bowl predictions got him noticed by columnists for the Seattle Times and Los Angeles Times, his name getting published in the latter.
It's a quirky but marketable idea. Sussman's own, personal "jump to conclusions" mat.

1 comment:

Zach said...

Probably the first time John Kerry's been right about anything.