All right. So you need to gripe about the fact that the Cavaliers are a mere 7-6 since starting the season with convincing wins over the Wizards and Spurs. You need to find villains. You need to blame anybody and everybody, even His Highness, LeBron James.
You need to work yourself up into a worst-case-scenario lather. Are they a lottery team? Will Larry Hughes ever play again? Is Mike Brown going crazy? Have they already won the lone playoff series they'll ever win with LeBron?
Come on. Are you really that down on the Cavs, or is the prospect of facing another Cleveland winter creating a hormone imbalance in your brain?
That's why I'm here to play Santa Claus. I'm making a list of the top 10 players that could most help the Cavs in a deadline deal.
I'll leave the trade scenarios up to you. But feel free to imagine any one of these guys in wine and gold, helping to carry the Cavs to the NBA Finals.
10. Earl Watson, Sonics
The Sonics point guard is known as a pretty decent ball handler and defender, and a better scorer than Eric Snow (which isn't saying much, I realize). He's stuck behind Luke Ridnour on the Seattle bench, and early-season rumors had him wanting out of Seattle.
He's not really a starting-caliber point guard, but he'd be an upgrade over anyone the Cavs can trot out there right now.
9. Tyronn Lue, Hawks
There is little about Lue's game that will make your eyes bulge, but he's a pedal-to-the-metal player who shows surprising flashes of finesse ability. His floater to force overtime in last month's Atlanta win in Cleveland is a prime example of his softer-than-you'd-think shooting touch.
Goodness knows, he's had enough opportunities to impress Cavs management. He turns into Dennis Johnson when he faces Cleveland.
8. Andre Iguodala, 76ers
Why wouldn't you want another forward who can jump out of the building? Sure, he's actually not as good a player as Hughes, but man, he could turn the Cavs into a two-man highlight reel.
7. Samuel Dalembert, 76ers
His scoring is abysmal. He's even more inconsistent than Drew Gooden. But he'll bring some measure of toughness that the Cavs frontcourt currently doesn't have. Well, it actually does, but apparently Scot Pollard was signed to keep dust from settling on the chairs at the end of the bench.
6. Morris Peterson, Raptors
Again, not the complete player that Hughes is. But he scores both inside and outside, and he recently had a string of 370 straight games played snapped. The next time Hughes plays in 370 straight games will be the next time they open a Club Med in downtown Cleveland.
5. Mike Miller, Grizzlies
Girly headband aside, Miller fills up the bucket with regularity. He's shooting 40 percent from beyond the arc and has the size to take it inside. If the Grizzlies continue to struggle, Miller might be on the block.
4. Sam Cassell, Clippers
Now 37, he's getting up there in years, but he has been an emotional leader wherever he's gone. He's also scoring at 17.2 PPG clip this year, above his career average.
For the Cavs' purposes, he could average 10 points a game if he can do what he's done to help turn the Clippers into a cohesive, winning team.
3. Joe Johnson, Hawks
If you're going to regret a non-signing for the Cavs, regret this one. He was a free agent in the summer of 2005.
Johnson keeps defenses honest with his outside shooting. With him patrolling the perimeter, the interior would be highly vulnerable for LeBron's drives. With a shooter like Johnson, LeBron's scoring and assist averages would almost certainly take a jump.
2. Steve Nash, Suns
No, I'm not smoking something. Two-time reigning MVPs simply don't get traded. Unless ... they have a capable backup waiting in the wings and the two-time reigning MVP's team could really stand to add some frontcourt depth.
The Suns have Leandro Barbosa signed to a long-term extension. The Cavs have a plethora of decent big men. As Roger Brown would say, "Hmmmm...."
1. Kevin Garnett, Timberwolves
I plugged the following into ESPN's NBA Trade Machine:
To the Cavs: Kevin Garnett, Rashad McCants and Bracey Wright.
To the Wolves: Zydrunas Ilgauskas, Damon Jones, Ira Newble and Sasha Pavlovic.
That's all I'm saying.