Former University of Maryland forward Lonnie Baxter apparently decided to celebrate his new one-year deal with Italian club Montepaschi Siena.
And like any true marginally-talented former NBA player who wants to drink from the cup of excess while he is able, Baxter decided to go gonzo with his celebration.
I'm not talking Mardi Gras. I'm not talking Times Square on New Year's Eve. I'm not even talking Salt Lake City at the annual "Monotonous Choral Music" festival.
I'm talking guns, fast cars and the White House.
Sound like a movie starring Wesley Snipes and Dennis Miller? You're not far off.
Baxter, 27, was reportedly toodling around Washington D.C. in a white SUV with a friend, 35-year-old Irvin Martin, around 2:30 Wednesday morning. They were about two blocks away from the White House when one of them allegedly fired shots from a handgun.
At whom? No one knows. But you know how it is when you discharge a firearm within earshot of the White House. Those crazy Secret Service agents want in on the party, too.
Uniformed Secret Service agents reportedly converged on the SUV in Northwest D.C. and ... well, you can imagine how Secret Service agents admonish someone for firing a gun near the White House. It usually involves being wrestled to the ground and having zip-ties placed around your wrists.
The Secret Service reportedly found spent shell casings in plain sight within the vehicle.
Baxter's most recent team, the Charlotte Bobcats, predictably went to great lengths to let the media know that Baxter is absolutely, positively no longer a member of their team. Baxter's Italian club might not have a choice but to release him if he is sent off to the federal pen.